Ranting, Raving and Renewing

I am amazed at how God is working JUST today! Not only with my sister and my nephew they are adopting ( a HUGE answer to prayer today and a BIG step forward) and with a personal issue we've been dealing with coming to resolve...but earlier today, I went to Wal-mart just to get out, after having a breakdown last week(to be completely honest as you all know I am..lol)...trying hard to relax and stay functioning....a lady walked up to me out of nowhere and just said "I am suffering from severe anxiety and am on medication but don't know what to do? do you know what I should do?" WOW!!! Isn't God awesome....just amazing. I encouraged her as best I could and it ended up that her brother also has fibromyalgia and his fiancee too. She called her brother from her cell and put him on the phone with me in wal-mart to talk to him. I offered some encouragement, prayer and my email to give him allll the many resources I have at my disposal, was able to share that SOMEONE understands and there is HOPE. His fiancee is trying to get disability and I JUST talked to the founder of a non-profit organization called Fibromyalgia Coalition International yesterday and she shared with me a lawyer who helps people with Fibro get disability nationwide so now I'll be able to offer that to him. I also asked the lady at the coalition about how, if we raised money through a "RUN" and later a kayaking event one of our students wants to do to help (how precious is that??) here in Cola to also raise awareness about the illness, how we could use the money to benefit some people I have met recently who are suffering from this debilitating illness. She assured me that if the money was given to them, they could give it directly to the Fibromyalgia Center I go to in Atlanta and use it to sponsor anyone I choose. Even though I am wondering how we are going to continue MY own treatments, I am more concerned right now with finding help for so many others who NEED it too! I KNOW God will somehow continue to find the means financially for me to go...but my heart's desire and passion (besides serving and ministering to young people) is to minister to and help others with chronic illnesses, pain and misunderstood illnesses. So, I am going to start a support group/bible study for anyone who wants to come..just don't know when yet...praying through that...please pray with me in that! By the way, the lady I spoke with in Wal-mart is not from what I was asking her, a Christian, but wants to come to our church, we exchanged numbers and she asked me how, after all I've been through could I still have the presence, spirit and smile that I had?? :) Of course you know my answer...."it's all from the Lord" she even asked "why God allowed things like this to happen to people like myself?" so I did get the opportunity to share with her some amazing things I know about our Creator. As I was talking to her brother on the phone, she was hugging me, crying and I could hear her mumbling "God, this has to be YOU" It was a reminder to me and maybe a revelation to her that God loves us so very very much and is still here...so intricately involved in every single aspect of our lives!!! As she walked away, and I told her I was praying for her every day along with the many others I have committed to lift up...she said "I love you Kim and you'll never know how much this has helped me" AMEN!! It helped me too. I said yesterday on Facebook and Twitter that I wanted to be a light for Christ in the darkest moments of my life just as I can be during the times when things are wonderful. I have been in a VERY dark place for a very long time, but God can and does use anyone willing to be an empty vessel. He even uses us when we're not willing, but we sure don't receive the blessings like we do when we're willing, obedient and open. I have asked Him to use me and my illnesses for His glory....thankful He is. Love you all and appreciate your many prayers for Jeff and I both!!! Again, look for ways to be used for His glory...and look for Him simply in the Creation....HIS creation around you! You'll see Him!! :)

You know, I realize my life is NOWHERE near Job's life biblically but I DO feel like and believe Satan is just messing with me. I KNOW life is just tough sometimes, life IS life, but I also know when we are at our weakest, he tries really hard to just break us down. I also know however, that as cruel as it SOUNDS..and it's NOT, b/c our God is not cruel, that nothing comes to me that hasn't been cleared through my Savior. Do I always remember that? NOPE....have to be reminded sometimes but ultimately YES, I DO KNOW HE LOVES ME and only wants to grow, strengthen and make me even more reliant on HIM! I know I've said all of this before but as we (my husband and I) are dealing with a very difficult situation in the midst of my severe illness, chronic pain, lack of ability to deal with stress b/c of the Fibromyalgia (found that even in blood work, I have almost NO cortisol in my body and THIS is what helps normal people process stress) and my severe anxiety disorder....even though we KNOW He's in control, we still hurt! All I know right now, is that b/c of some decisions we are having to make to get my health where it needs to be, keep me sane,for me to have a quality life, spend time with my OWN family, for Jeff to be not soooo extremely stressed every single day and for our marriage and relationships with each other and God to flourish...we need to do what we have to...but are praying for a smooth resolution so that ALL involved will be okay. Right now, however, as selfish as it sounds, and I don't have a selfish bone in my body, I HAVE to allow my very expensive treatments to work in a stress free environment. We have used all of our resources financially to make me better, after 5 month of being bedridden...SO, I believe God wants Jeff and I to take care of ourselves, our health, our marriage and OUR MINISTRY!! All very important!!! I am praying over, after I recover some from some things, starting a support group/bible study for people with chronic pain and misunderstood illnesses. I really feel that God is calling me to do this, just praying to be sure. I have a HUGE heart, passion and compassion for fellow sufferers. My heart breaks for others daily as I lift them up in prayer. I just want to help where I can, but God is going to have to reveal to me what I need to do...and He will. I know it seems all of my blogs are full of "pitiful" stuff but truly, it is just my life....not that it's pitiful..it just is what it is.....tough!! WE all suffer as a result of sin in the world, life in general and even God trying to teach us, grow us and make us more like His Son. For whatever reason, we are where we are BUT we KNOW WHOSE WE ARE and He'll never ever let us go!! It was good to vent!! :) Hope you all can see Christ somehow today in even the darkest of circumstances..look for Him to amaze you...He will!!! Today, I oh, so miss my Mullins friends who are like family to us, and my friends in Charleston (lots of them too) and the Sandifer's (our former pastor and his family..like family as well) and my NC friends....wish i could get a tangible HUG from them all right now but praying God will be the tangible love I need right now. I KNOW He can be!!

We entered our dog in a contest this week to help with the expense of my illness
and many many others I know personally that I wish so badly I could help!!
"Chaco" didn't win this week but the week starts over today. HONESTLY, I know some
of you did this I and we are beyond grateful, but he had a lot of votes...ALLLLL
it's going to take is for each of you to send this to your contacts and even if
everyone voted even ONE day..HE COULD WIN!! It's for a GREAT cause..fibromyalgia
help for many people!! Please consider taking just a minute to forward this to
your friends who just might do the same. It can not only help me continue my
much needed treatments, but many others as well. We're also desperately trying
to raise awareness about this very debilitating illness. PLEASE take a minute!!
Thanks to all of you who took this seriously. We're not giving up!!! Here's his
link again:

Cutest Dog Photo Gallery - Vote for the Cutest Dog - 
One Million Dollar Cutest Dog Competition

PLEASE vote daily and spreeeeaaaaad the word....it can change lives 
sooooon!!!