Ranting, Raving and Renewing

So, (why do I start blogs with so....idk) anyway, lol, I haven't blogged for a few days and wanted to write out some thoughts. I will probably never truly understand why we struggle so much in life, some more than others and why it doesn't seem the problems are dealt according to who "deserves" them. But, I do know that because we, as a sinful people, created to worship HIM alone, decide to go our own way, that life is just that...life....it has its ups and downs, troubles, sorrows AND joys!!!! It just is what it is and without the "downs" our "ups" wouldn't be so great!! I also know that to wish my trials to just go away IF it's not His will for my life, is robbing me of what He wants to show me and how He wants to grow me. We serve a GOD who adores us, sent His Son (being God Himself) to live on earth so that He COULD RELATE to what we deal with, and then laid down His life. Whether you believe it or not, I do, and this is my blog so, there you go!! :) LOL He was fully human yet fully God (and since He's God, HE can do that) and so I KNOW that all we suffer, He understands. You may say, well, did Jesus really deal with death, sickness, temptation, pain, hurt, sorrow, loss........YES HE DID! Do we know if he Himself was ever sick? No...but we Do know He saw extreme illness and healed (still does) and went through death HIMSELF, one more horrible than our human minds could even fathom. SO...(here we go again with the "so") :0) I choose to believe, not only because of my faith in Him, but because of my very personal relationship with Him, that He is still in control. Even tonight, as I try to figure out why some of my precious friends and family are suffering from mental illnesses, have just suffered loss and are hurting so badly, I realize, just as I type, that I don't have to "understand" WHY...because I know WHO is holding them. That's all the answer I need right now. I pray that HE will reveal Himself to them, and each of you, in a way only He can right now. As I am still going through a life-long illness of my own, and struggle daily with numerous things, I am more concerned for those I see hurting around me. I can't imagine (although as strange as it sounds I wish I could imagine) what it feels like for a parent to see their child suffer, but I DO know what it feels like to bear the burdens of others. This is something God has given me as a gift and sometimes what feels like a curse..only because it hurts so much. Please don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade it for the world b/c it enables me to pray in a different way for others, and I only hurt so deeply because I LOVE so deeply. As I may have said in a previous blog, forgive me if I repeat myself...my husband has told me many times during the loss of people (relatives and friends, babies) and our precious animals, that my grieving seems and is so DEEP because when I love, I love with EVERYTHING in me....there is no middle ground for me. So, I have to take the hurt if I want to be all God has truly created me to be. Once again, as I ramble, my point is that He feels our pain as we feel it too. I know how much I hurt for others, but I can't even imagine how much it pains our Creator (our Father) as He sees us cry, grieve, mourn and wail many times. The bible says he "bottles up every tear." (Psalm 56:8 says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book) How amazing is that? We don't have a Heavenly Father who doesn't FEEL our pains with us. We have a loving God who sees every tear as real. As we cry in pain and suffering, he is right beside His children. THAT IS A COMFORT beyond compare for me!!! I'm not sure what all of this blogging means to you as you read but my prayer is that no matter what you are dealing with right now, that if you are a child of God, a believer in Christ, that YOU have HOPE!! If you are reading and don't believe all of this, my prayer for you is that you will one day soon, see that He is the only way. Life CAN be lived without Him....but since we were created to love Him and know Him, there will always be a void...deep down, that only He can fill. As I lift up so many tonight, I am thankful I KNOW He hears my prayers!!! Thank you Lord for being faithful!!!!