Ranting, Raving and Renewing

The day didn't start well so I went back to bed, gladly and woke up hours later still in a very bad mood. I know my blooodwork proved what I knew...that I can't handle any amount of stress, but the past couple of days I have been a basket-case. How do you completely destress your life? MY life shouldn't be that hard to destress considering I don't have a daily job, sleep a lot right now...but the daily stress of trying to turn over Avon customers to someone else, bills that need to be paid, a house that needs cleaning, clothes that need to be washed, dogs that need to go out, and a phone that won't stop ringing or emails or messages of someone wanting me for something (even something simple) is KILLING me. I am not able to take care of myself most of the time, let alone anyone else. I am able mostly to deal with the dogs, who are used to the pattern of resting with me all day, and Jeff does all he can, considering he has a FULL time (beyond that) job that keeps him so very busy. Life is just hard at times and my body is unable to deal. So, the home phone is unplugged, my cell is off, i am not going to be on the computer....and I need to rest, rest, rest!!! For those of you who may be thinking, "WOW, she couldn't handle MY life" .... maybe not, but that doesn't make me less of a person. I have during many times in my life, worked three jobs at a time, including Children's Minister, helping run an antique store and interior decoarting on the side. I have always been given what I needed for the times in my life I was called to do certain things, BUT right now....God is caling me to GET WELL....take doctors orders, recuperate from 20 years of an illness that WAS killing me. And, so I refuse to feel guilty (convincing myself it's okay) for taking care of Kim for once. I love my family and friends but know if I am not well and don't take care of myself, I won't be here to love anyone. Some people around me, once again, who don't really seem to be concerned for me b/c I guess MY illness has never seemed that severe to them (shows how much they've really been around or involved) may think all of this is exaggerated but I know I don't have to convince most of you reading this, that this is real. Whether or not you "get it" is irrelevant to me...just the fact that you have asked how I am, what the dr has said, how you can help and constantly remind me that you are praying for me and thinking of me, means more than you'll ever know. :) Please just pray for peace, quiet and calm right now.....