Ranting, Raving and Renewing

I absolutely hate when I just LAY in the bed, eyes closed, not even really thinking (HAHA...no comments from the peanut gallery.....peanut gallery? have I ever even used that term? lol I AM sleep deprived) and know I need to be up in a couple of hours anyway, so the dilemma becomes "I know my body and 2-3 hours is NOT enough, therefore, I WON'T be able to get up" or "Maybe this ONE time will be the time when it will be enough and I NEED it so i won't just fall out later...in church at that!!" Well, you can see for yourself, my decision. I didn't sleep even ONE minute. I took my meds, sleep aids, etc, but all I can figure as to why I couldn't sleep (regular part of this horrible illness aside) is that after a week of terrible sleep and finally having my sleep aid back Friday night, I slept until 12 pm yesterday....and that was too much. I mean, having this illness, well, many of them...lol....I know that sleep (GOOD sleep) and rest is crucial so when I CAN sleep, I DO!! That's what I've been told to do, it's what I've seen work and so I'm trying to learn not to feel guilty about it. I truly believe, however, that my body is healing itself and I am going to have to learn a new way of doing things.(That's a PRAISE people...put your hands in the air...LOL) Such as, getting up a little earlier even if I feel like staying in the bed, napping if I can't keep my eyes open during the day and not overdoing it no matter HOW "good" I feel at any given moment. I am FAR from being well and the tendency we (chronically ill people) have to do is the same thing "normal" people do when they start "feeling" like they are getting over the flu, a virus, infection,etc. and they go out, do too much and pay for it for a couple more days. For me, it's not a couple of days, rather a couple of weeks of setbacks. So, I am going to listen to my body and just try a couple of things. For today, this will be only the second time I have been to a Sunday morning service since Christmas. My first was Easter and I didn't do so well. I am feeling a little better overall the past few days, than I was then, so maybe today will be better (disregarding the lack of sleep.) I am just praying that's the case because it is Graduate Sunday and I will be lining up and organizing the Seniors, then singing with our Youth Praise Band as they lead worship. We are playing about 6 songs, recognizing grads, Jeff is preaching and a song at the end. SO, I PRAY I MAKE IT!! This is what I WANT to do and am excited about being there. I actually have missed the past few years of Graduate services due to this or the bi-polar or something as "simple" as the flu or stomach virus that lasted me weeks. I have only been to church 3 Wednesday nights in 6 months (WOW.....going on 6 now, unbelievable) and 2 Sunday nights, and those have been just in the past month and a half. THANK GOD for my dear friend and co-leader for our 10th and 11th grade girls small group on Sunday nights. She has been amazing with the girls and the girls.....Oh my goodness, I can't tell you what an inspiration they are to me! Of course, I'm sure I have, many times. :) I have missed them deeeeeeeeply but was with them for the last meeting 2 weeks ago. We start back in mid-June and I am praying I will have reached a level of energy, stamina and pain relief by then, that I can be there regularly. This, as I have stated many many many times, is where my heart is. God always gives me what I need when I am able to be there and blesses my heart. I KNOW He will do this again today. We sang last night in a wedding and after Jeff sang "You Raise Me Up" which needless to say, was GORGEOUS...we sang Celine Dion's "The Prayer." For those of you who sing, you know how much breath support is required for "simple" songs and this one required a LOT....no breaks for me. I was scared before we left, because a HUGE part of my health issue right now is the breathing which comes from the thickness of my blood, keeping oxygen from being released into any of my cells, slowing down my breathing and keeping me from having the energy to even stand most of the time. BUT, God got me through that and I believe with all of my heart, He will do the same this morning. Even though I only sing back-up with the band, I POUR my heart and soul into it and enjoy praising God with everything in me....so, it physically wears me out!!! This is where my SUSTAINER comes in and YOUR prayers. Not many of you will see this before 9:30 but if you do....please just lift us all up!! Lift up the service, those who may not "enjoy" this type of music (pray that as they see the powerful words on the screen, that God will touch their heart in unbelievable ways), pray for Jeff as he decided to preach the service before he knew our band was also going to play. His plate is FULL today, but who better to speak at the grad service than my sweet husband and the amazing youth pastor who has made a HUGE impact on these precious young lives? I can't think of anyone better to preach or sing today!! :0) Can you tell I love him? I hope so!! Have a beautiful, blessed Sunday. no matter where you are this morning for worship..at home, at church, on vacation....ALLOW it to be worship and let God love on you. I pray He will show you more of Himself no matter where you are!!! He's amazing that way!!!!! Until next time......KEEP PRAISING HIM!!!! He is more than worthy!!!